Killian stiffened as he felt her finger trace the scar that ran along the back of his right biceps. “An accident back when I was just a lad,” he quickly explained, not wanting to dwell on the memory of his father’s abuse before he disappeared.
Emma paused for a long moment, having noticed the rush in his words. “Are you lying to me?” she asked quietly.
"It’s nothing, love," Killian insisted with a quick shake of his head. "There are much more important things to worry about than an old scar of mine."
The words hit her like a ton of bricks, knocking the air from her lungs for a moment before she could speak. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she took a deep breath, stepping a bit closer. “Killian, I’m sorry,” she pleaded with him. “He’s the Dark One’s son, what do you want me to do?” she asked with wide eyes.
Snow and Charming knew Rumpelstiltskin was not to be trusted, to never make a deal with him. Apparently that changed when he told them he could end the ongoing war with Regina. With a price of course. Emma would have to sacrifice her happiness so the Dark One’s son could one day be king. The look on her parents’ faces when they presented her with the choice was too earnest for her to decline.
She loved Killian, but if she were to be queen one day, shouldn’t she put the kingdom’s well-being above her own selfish needs? So, with a heavy heart, she accepted, and with a heavy heart, she’d cried herself to sleep that night.
Telling herself that maybe Killian would come back changed, and he wouldn’t be the same man she fell in love with through his letters and that one day they’d shared helped her feel a bit better, but deep down she knew it was a lie. He was the same from day one, and she had the letters (one a day for the past month and a half at the time) to prove it.
Besides, what was she to say to her parents? That she was already in love with someone else? That she’d fallen in love over the course of two weeks from one brief meeting and all of fourteen letters? How could she expect that to work?
With another deep breath she put on the same brave face she’d been wearing for the last seven and a half months (gods, had she really been miserable that long? It felt longer) and repeated the words she’d been telling herself since she’d agreed.
"It’s for the good of the kingdom."
"It’s been going on for over three decades, if there was another way, wouldn’t we have found it by now?" she asked, eyes searching his. Averting her gaze at his next words, she wasn’t sure how to respond. How was Rumpelstiltskin going to end it? She hadn’t thought much on it. He was the Dark One, he always followed through on his deals.
Tears sprang to her eyes as he kept talking, knowing his words to be true. Her parents — poster children for true love — would have absolutely understood. But she’d doubted it. How could she expect them to believe she’d fallen in love through scribbled words and one meeting? She hadn’t even been able to admit it to herself until she’d been presented with the offer.
Noticing his hesitation as she stepped forward, a lump formed in her throat. Despite how much he was trying, she knew he was hurting just as much, if not more, than she was. He was making too much sense and she couldn’t take it; it all came crashing down around her. “I don’t know, I don’t know!" she shouted, one tear falling down her cheek. "I just know that I don’t love him, I love you, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fix this!”
At her outburst, Killian couldn’t hold himself back any longer. His hand rose to wipe away the single tear that escaped, stepping forward to close the small distance that was still between them. “Emma….” he whispered, foregoing any propriety and pulling her into a tight embrace. “We’ll figure it out, love.”
A gentle kiss was pressed to the top of her head as a hand smoothed up and down her back. “Your parents will know what to do,” he offered. If anyone could help, and understand, it would be her parents. And surely, if needed, Liam would do what he could to help as well.
At least, he’d make Liam help since he was partially responsible for Killian falling for the princess in the first place.
"We will figure out a solution, Emma, I promise. I am not going to lose you if I can help it."
"The world revolves around you, my Star. I am simply lucky enough to be the one you’ve chosen to be at your side."
Smile staying firmly in place, she tilted her head up to bring their lips together in a soft kiss. There was a dramatic reaction from the guests around them, a few wolf whistles among them and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she chuckled lightly in response. “We’re married,” she said in a sing-song voice, bright smile on her face. “I almost thought this day would never come.”
Killian’s reaction matched hers, feeling his cheeks grow warmer as he heard the very distinct sound of his brother’s wolf whistle, eyes rolling just as their short lived kiss ended. “I told you, Emma, that you were the only one for me. I knew since the Baelfire instance that I would one day marry you, without question. It was only a matter of when.”
"What? No!" Emma exclaimed in a very high voice, pulling herself back as if he had burned her, "That’s not growth! That’s birth! You are not going to be there when I have my legs open and I’m pushing a child out, it’s bad enough that the doctors are! And anyway most men pass out so you’d be useless, and if you didn’t I’d punch you in the groin and make you pass out, so no. There are things that can be shared and there are things that should not! You grew a penis, now stick to penis things!”
"I am not missing the moment my child is born, Emma," the pirate insisted, his voice stern and leaving no room for argument. "And, if you’ve forgotten, love, I’m not most men. I’ve been the cause of and witness to more anguish and pain and death in my life than most men could possibly dream of, watching you give birth will not deter me as easily as you think it might."
Gia. Why don’t I have you on Skype? Like seriously. I just realised that we aren’t contacts on there.
This must be fixed.
(there are things i need, and there are things that etch itself onto my soul and never lets go, no matter how many times i write it. this would be the latter).
The first time Emma and Killian spend the night together it is heated and passionate – frantic – and she’s sure her skin is burning under his fingertips’ exploration of her entire body, quick and sure movements even as his hand is trembling across her bare stomach.
She’s not surprised – was sure this was to be expected even; it had to when it came to them – and revels in the look in his eyes as he meets her gaze. What does surprise her, however, is how after – when they’re still catching their breath, Emma trying to remember how to swallow – Killian tucks an arm around her waist and plasters his body along hers.
(If she ever had to pick ten things she knew about Killian Jones, that fact that he loves spooning would not have made the list).
Her heart beat picks up because she isn’t sure if she’s the type of person that likes to spoon or not, seeing as she’s never really done it before. He chuckles in her ear, low and very close, and starts moving his hand in circles around her navel, clearly having heard her quickening pulse.
“Sleep,” he says, and somehow she drifts off to the soothing gesture of his movements, his breathing, his smell – him. When she wakes up the next morning, they’re still in the same position and after that, it becomes a thing they do; she quickly learns that some parts of her body has always yearned for this type of intimacy, and she vows to never let herself starve that way again.
(However, it does take some time for her to get used to the idea that she, Emma Swan, is the type of person who loves to cuddle more than she does most things in life).
The feeling she gets when he puts his arm around her, head resting somewhere on her neck, feels almost like coming home, a contentment spreading through her body, feeling like she belongs.
Some nights, though – when she knows he needs it more than her, his eyes screaming as ghosts from his past erupts – she turns around even before he has the chance to stretch out his arm and curls her own around his waist instead, savoring how she can be the one to get him to close his eyes in a shudder as she takes deep breaths against his shoulder blades.
“Tell me about Liam,” she says sometimes, knowing that that is all it takes for him to start talking, her hand resting above his heart. She asks about Baelfire too – to him, it was always Baelfire – and even about Milah on a few occasions when she sees the look on his face (recognizes it) as he climbs into bed.
Some nights, he asks her about Graham or Neal, and she talks of the emotions she’s never shared with anyone before; the constant ache that she used to have in her chest, the fear always waiting around the next corner, or the love she once held in her heart for them. He asks about her time as an orphan, pressing soft kisses on her back as she recalls her years of abandonment and loneliness, and it’s easy to be lulled into sleep even after she has talked about some of the worst days in her life.
“I love you,” she whispers for the first time one night, ten months after they got together. There’s a short, terrifying, pause as he stills behind her before he leans over her to reach her lips.
“I love you, too,” he says, and it sounds almost like a prayer, and maybe even the most precious promise she’s ever gotten.